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  • Quick Help Please :)

    I really appreciate all of your help.

    I Have this assignment due.


    it is the re-design of a shitty poast card.
    it has to have this copy, be black/grey/white, and the hierarchy is

    1. heads up
    2. names have changed
    3. address/map
    3. hours/number

    it is due today... i know this is really shitty... any comments appreciated
    [insert clever signature here]

  • #2


    sorry... here it is
    [insert clever signature here]

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Quirk


      sorry... here it is
      ok...well there's a clear lack of cohesion. i mean i know if you were to get into post-modernism, it might make sense, but in this case, it doesnt. because you're breaking rules you probably dont even know.

      take the bottom part "call randy for an appointment". you're using right allign for that one, very rarely will you use that sort of allignment because of the 'shock' it gives the reader (sudden endings). you should have that whole sentence as one line. the hours at which the store is open are in the middle of the design, not really being attached to anything. again, cohesion.

      i know it's due today, but you should go for something much more conservative in your design instead of trying to be fancy and throwing stuff all over the place.
      lurkin'

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Epectasis
        ok...well there's a clear lack of cohesion. i mean i know if you were to get into post-modernism, it might make sense, but in this case, it doesnt. because you're breaking rules you probably dont even know.

        take the bottom part "call randy for an appointment". you're using right allign for that one, very rarely will you use that sort of allignment because of the 'shock' it gives the reader (sudden endings). you should have that whole sentence as one line. the hours at which the store is open are in the middle of the design, not really being attached to anything. again, cohesion.

        i know it's due today, but you should go for something much more conservative in your design instead of trying to be fancy and throwing stuff all over the place.
        yes. it also has no contrast and the hierarchy is a little unclear.

        thanks for the heads up on the right alignment, we haven't talked about that in class yet. I did move the "56th Street" up to align with the base lines of the hours and phone number.

        the rules need to be more prominent.

        man. i really did shitty on this one...



        oh well... next time...
        [insert clever signature here]

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Quirk
          yes. it also has no contrast and the hierarchy is a little unclear.

          thanks for the heads up on the right alignment, we haven't talked about that in class yet. I did move the "56th Street" up to align with the base lines of the hours and phone number.

          the rules need to be more prominent.

          man. i really did shitty on this one...



          oh well... next time...
          i'd kill the arrow too. maybe use a star or something? or if you want to stick to the arrow, make it smaller. it's too prominent in your design. you have to decide what you want your readers to see first: the arrow or the header? because right now they are definitely fighting for attention which causes me to be disinterested in the whole thing. so you should look at that.
          lurkin'

          Comment


          • #6
            It's a bit too floaty for me. There's not thing solid to focus on. Black and white is a great opportunity to create drama using light and dark. You haven't done this at all here.

            Don't think of black and white work as limiting, think of it is an opportunity to deal with contrast and form.
            It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?" Winnie the Pooh

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by budafist
              It's a bit too floaty for me. There's not thing solid to focus on. Black and white is a great opportunity to create drama using light and dark. You haven't done this at all here.

              Don't think of black and white work as limiting, think of it is an opportunity to deal with contrast and form.

              Thank you.

              I appreciate all of you for helping me out. I changed a couple of things, but it had to be turned in.

              We don't get very good critiques most of the time, because our program just started and everyone is still trying to be 'nice' to eachother.

              I hope I am not being a pain in the neck, this is just one of the best forums I have ever belonged to. It is really productive... and in a civil way.


              Congrats GDF
              [insert clever signature here]

              Comment


              • #8
                remember too - that most designers design logos in black & white. As Budha says - you've a great opportunity here.

                shapes, contrast, use of black, white and grey can be very intriguing in design. Look at the umteen hundred different 3-color tshirts out there. The vector flurishes on everything. Silouettes aka ipod dancers.

                Comment


                • #9
                  man. i really did shitty on this one...
                  oh well... next time...
                  Don't try that in the Real World.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Quirk
                    We don't get very good critiques most of the time, because our program just started and everyone is still trying to be 'nice' to eachother.

                    I hope I am not being a pain in the neck, this is just one of the best forums I have ever belonged to. It is really productive... and in a civil way.


                    Congrats GDF
                    Yeah I hear ya. People have to grow up and realise that constructive crit is way better than "I like it" just to be nice.
                    It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?" Winnie the Pooh

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I think one of the largest problems with the design is the minimalistic approach which is not reflected by the serif typography.

                      The design is screaming for a harmonized sans serif other than of the "heads up" title.

                      Oh well - what's done is done!
                      design is the best way to touch strangers without getting arrested for it - ben ramsey

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        We don't get very good critiques most of the time, because our program just started and everyone is still trying to be 'nice' to eachother.
                        A good way to fix this is to call someone out. Or call your own work out. Push people. Our class used to be much kinder to one and other. Then I started talking.
                        design is the best way to touch strangers without getting arrested for it - ben ramsey

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by 1ooScreamingTrees
                          A good way to fix this is to call someone out. Or call your own work out. Push people. Our class used to be much kinder to one and other. Then I started talking.

                          LOL. I know exactly what you mean. We even usually put our work up without names... so I ream on my own. Haha. Hopefully we will all soon get over the 'nice' stage.
                          [insert clever signature here]

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by PrintDriver
                            Don't try that in the Real World.
                            Wouldn't that be nice if that was all it took...

                            Designer: "Opps... this one is really shitty... sorry man.. next time we'll kill it...."
                            Client: "No problem... don't worry about it... I'll still be coming to you to do all my designs..."


                            lol... riiight
                            [insert clever signature here]

                            Comment

                             
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