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Business Package - Critique Requested

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  • Business Package - Critique Requested

    Business card shown here is just one piece. Full business suite in the FB album. Thoughts, anybody? My primary specialty is mailing, and in terms of design, clean and intuitive is the direction I tend toward.

  • #2
    Lose the http:// on the letterhead.

    "print (design & buy)"... WTF?

    Lose the period after Road on the letterhead.

    Keep postal regulations in mind for your envelope. Can't tell without exact measurements but it looks like your ALMOST non-compliant.

    Why does the business card have a drop shadow under the logo and no other piece does?

    ... and be careful about posting personal information online.
    Professional Pixel Pusher Designing the world around you. | Working daily to reach 10,000 hours of practice.


    • #3
      CkretAjint - Thanks for the feedback. All information on there is business stuff, it can be blown up to whomever's content, and the website doesn't exist yet. I'll just get a fresh PMB and block whichever phone numbers at my router if anyone wants to get all abusey. You do make an excellent point; like an echo of one of the hundreds of times I've told others the same thing. Thank you

      Regarding the envelope, it's a standard #10, 4 1/8 x 9 1/2", what's non-compliant about it? The return address isn't restricted to a specific area, and the phosphor spray can still be read if it ends up over the logo.

      Re: "print (design & buy)"... WTF?" -- I personally know graphic designers who won't buy their own print. Is this less common than I am imagining that this appears untoward? I agree with you now that you've said it; I have tremendous difficulty critiquing my own work.

      And the drop shadow... I'll be printing the business cards digitally, the rest on press. I don't like the look of drop shadows from my dayjob's printing press, so I avoided that effect on the items being produced that way. Does it look out of place, taking the business card as its own piece? It makes me look at the negative shapes inside the logo because I can't see the shadow through the logo.

      (edit) Thanks for the input, CkretAjint!
      Last edited by mdohrn; 04-19-2009, 06:14 PM. Reason: being polite!


      • #4
        Most welcome...

        Env — The logo dips rather low. You are supposed to have a 5/8" (I think that's the size) white space across the bottom of the envelope for the post office. If not it could cost extra to mail, or worse be rejected.

        Drop Shadow — I was just pointing out that only 1 of your pieces had a drop shadow, not the others... Consistency is key.

        & buy — What does it mean? What are you buying?? That's what I don't understand about it...
        Professional Pixel Pusher Designing the world around you. | Working daily to reach 10,000 hours of practice.


        • #5
          Oh, okay. "design & buy" just refers to print buying and fulfillment, on any scale from "just one set" to "we're gonna need to rent a warehouse to store these, you know".

          I'll have to pore over my DMM to see exactly where the USPS fascists tell me I can put my logo. "In Mother America, envelope addresses you!"

          I'll put up the BC without shadow in a few minutes, but when I was staring at it, it looked kind of naked, and I did like how it looked with it. Yeah, it doesn't match. I'm gonna look again, because I like things that match.


          • #6
            Echoing CkretAjint...

            The "& Buy" doesnt look right,it sounds like some sort of slogan. It's not clear as to its meaning. Your logo would look better without the dropshadow as it looks uncomfortable being the only thing with that effect on it.

            Out of curiousity, did you do this in photoshop? seem to have got an attack from the "jaggies". does the logo look slightly pixalated on your screen?

            Two more things, the images on your face book, what does the gradient represent?..I'm a bit confused about that.

            Secondly your letterhead doesnt seem to follow any grid, the information located at the bottom seems to just be placed there, not aligning to anything.

            Your logo is clever, I like it.


            • #7
              * Drop shadow on logo - Personally, I'm not really a fan of drop shadows at the best of times, so would advise against it, especially considering the card is the only item of stationary with the shadow. I feel it cheapens the design. Also, may I ask why you're printing the cards digitally and the rest of your items on a press? Surely, if you run them all on the press, there would be much more consistancy with ink finishes, etc.

              * Business Card info - I don't think you need to label each line ('Mobile', 'Email', 'Web') as they are all very obvious as to what they are. If you are going to label them, then, again, consistancy is key - your Letterhead lists them as 'T' & 'E', which I think would look better. Currently on the card that text causes a bit of an optical illusion that the text isn't centred. Also, I prefer telephone numbers to be split with spaces - just a personal thing, but I feel it is make more readable when spaced '602 405 6532' rather than '602.405.6532'.

              * Design & Buy - you've explained this, but on it's own on the card, I feel it really means nothing. It's confusing.

              * Letterhead - as already stated the text alignment is off to me. I'd prefer your address to align with the other contact info, and like CkretAjint said, get rid of the 'http://' from the website info.


              • #8
                Sammie, thank you. I've been staring at the logo for days, just haven't had time to fight the computer to make it real. Everything is done in Illustrator.

                You can blame Acrobat for the jaggies - I'm saving them as JPEGs from that because... well, because I'm kind of lazy and don't feel like bringing it through photoshop, and the PDF is excessively large for reasons I don't understand (12mb? wtf Illustrator).

                The gradients are top and side views of the logo. Really, just playing around, but I kind of like the top view's profile, though it needs tweaking to be more recognizable.

                With the letterhead... well, I wanted as much space for content as possible, and I'm completely self-taught. I don't know grid from shinola, you dig? It doesn't look particularly off to me, though I think I can see what you mean. I aligned the logo at top to where the gripper of the press ends, and the text at the bottom to where my pressman can't run it off the bottom of the sheet.

                Black isn't the most exciting, but it leaves me a lot of leeway when it comes to advertising and production; I'm not made of money (yet).

                Anyway, here's the revised BCs, side-by-side. The old BC pic should be dead.

                After doing a little searchinating, I learned that there is a 5/8" bottom margin for automation mail, but no matching requirement for non-auto, non-presort first class. Thanks for the tip, CkretAjint.

                Thanks for your feedback, guys!
                Last edited by mdohrn; 04-19-2009, 07:26 PM.


                • #9
                  mdorhn, no problem mate...

                  Setting up a grid, once you know how you want it to be placed in the layout isnt that hard. Imagine it like this, that every part that you put down on a page, whether it be type or imagery is a cube, the page is a huge cube, that all the other cubes fit into. Imagining it like this, do you think you'd get an even amount of cubes in the Big cube if the cubes were aligned like the current type in the letterhead? I hope that makes sense..


                  • #10
                    Definitely prefer no drop shadow. IMO, it actually takes away from the strong, clean lines of your logo (which is awesome, btw). And I also concur that you should lose Mobile/Email/Web and center the info.


                    • #11
                      Yay, feedback!!!

                      Sammie, I think I'm gonna have to do some googling. It's not that that's a bad description, I think I just need way more detail than I can ask you to give me I'm told by others that I have a very intuitive sense of design, but I often violate "rules" because I intuit it, not apply rules.

                      Cool Gray 8, the reason that I'm running the cards digitally is because I run the digital printer, and I love the finish from a DocuColor 5000. I can't recommend strongly enough finding one in your area to see a print for yourself. Any area of heavy toner coverage becomes highly glossy, regardless of the stock it is printed on. Regular black, non-rich, looks absolutely dead sexy from this printer.

                      Unfortunately, it can't print envelopes, and I'm probably going to mail letterhead in envelopes, and less likely that I'll mail a business card. I like the appearance of the business card better from my digital printer, and that's why I'm doing it that way.

                      vibrant echo, thanks for the logo compliment; I almost wish I worked harder on it. It just appeared in my head, and the task became putting it down. I've made the suggested changes, and will repost soon.

                      2/1 Postcard (4.25x6") - 871 metallic Gold & Black / Black

                      I think I've got my resolution issues ironed out now, Sammie.

                      So, the postcard is divided evenly as far as I'm concerned and visually works very well to me - what I was going for was "printing as art". Difficulty - making it a 2-color postcard. Many may not recognize the target, but it *will* be a SHINY THING

                      So, I'd like to play a little bit of devil's advocate, because I'm feeling it. There was some flak regarding (design & buy) on my business card. I think it can be argued that there is a strong case for using it precisely because it won't be well understood, and because I will be handing them the business card, they may ask me about it. Is this fallacious reasoning? It makes sense to me.

                      Thank you to EVERYBODY for your warm responses and criticism of my work. I love hearing feedback, both positive and negative!


                      • #12
                        Nice postcard. Front anyway. The 'Communicate' and 'Let Me' part could do with a bit of work to link them, either leading or different punctuation, throw a couple of capital letters at the start maybe. I'm not sure what exactly but needs something.

                        On the reverse, the blurb under the logo is messy. Shift the You and That onto the same line as the rest of their sentences. I'm no fan of centre aligned either, it's not natural. Infact the whole back lacks any definite style. It lacks refinement. It doesn't say 'I'm a designer' just 'I have a computer and eyes.'


                        • #13
                          The logo reminds me of a bullet somewhat.


                          • #14
                            Communicate bigger.


                            • #15
                              Who is the target (ha ha) for the postcard?

                              You might want to find a place for your name *somewhere* on it. It's awkward to pick up the phone without knowing who to ask for. Even if your e-mail/website is, people are dumb. And your logo WILL look like a strange sort of bullet (and nothing more) if people can't make the connection to your initials.

                              Personally, I would lose the "communicate bigger, let me help" from the front. "Your printing should be on target" is a great message all on it's own and I like "print smarter, not harder" as a secondary message. "Communicate bigger" does not = "on target" to me (but I think you could build a neat campaign of its own around the phrase). This would also give a little room to work with - it looks a little crowded at the top to me. Oh, also - have you tried putting it in the form of a question "Is your printing on target?"

                              RE: "& buy" - I'm going to admit I *still* don't get exactly what service(?) you are offering with this. If you're going to put it on your card, then you need to have a very clear, concise "elevator" speech" handy for when people ask, and I don't think your earlier explanation quite hit the mark. Either that, or I'm really slow.






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