At first glance, felt a bit confusing up top - but after recognizing its
wittiness, possibly with some refining I think it could be fine. If this was mine, I would look for a way to make it work all horizontally, but that's just because in this case I don't prefer the vertical type or the legibility of the composition. In my opinion, there's not enough counterspace to be spinnin' text around. Haven't been able to read into why the counters of the "O"s are filled in. A bit distracting and maybe that would help the legibility of the vertical type because my eyes go to the dots first.
Your yellow columns are a little shorter than preferred for reading - a longer measure will allow for easier reading. Shoot for atleast 45 characters/ measure if possible. And especially with your more blatant white text on the left, try and get a solid in-out-in-out rag, and attempt to avoid big gaps elsewhere.
Just making sure things line up make a big difference. Guide grids are good if you aren't using one. The way the "A" in "After" just barely doesn't touch the top of the poster is a bit "neither here nor there". Make everything look intentionally done. Make your vertical text come down to the baseline of the second half of "After". The After "t" has a little niche in the stem before it reaches the A; could close that up. Little things will begin to add up to make a big difference.
I think there's a too much going on with the title. It took awhile, but this is what I found:
- A+ in After
- After is hyphenated
- School Special is vertical
- The O's in School are filled in (are they supposed to be colons?)
- There's a slash through the "t", can't figure out why
- After is bigger than School Special
- After is capitalized whereas School Special is all caps
- School Special lines up under the hyphen in After
- Is there more?
It's just a bit too much for me. I would take out at least half of what's above and I think it will have more impact.
Gromit, market yourself differently. Tell them what you can bring to them that will make them more successful. Peddle your years of experience at doing what you do well and given that they will see you...