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  • one of my finished designs

    Would appreciate it if someone could give me some feedback/thoughts on this...


  • #2
    Dont understand all the mmmmmmms but I imagine there should be less m's and more .......'s or else no ......'s at all

    Could the swirly part not be made up of a main almond and some other nut types rather than one almond shape and all the swirls. It looks a bit like a fireplace. I take it the m's are coming out of the mouth and not going in. What about a series of different nuts heading into the mouth like happens in reality, once you start eating those things they just go into your mouth like a conveyor belt. What about the swirly nuts being distorted like being sucked by a vacuum cleaner, in the direction of the mouth, showing that the jewels are being eaten. I think a munching mouth might be more appropriate than a sensual one.
    When men will beg God to kill them and they won’t be able to die

    Comment


    • #3
      I really like your ideas for it. Unfortunately I don't have the time to change much more than the basic layout, colours and fonts as I have to get them printed tomorrow. I do wish I had the time though, that idea sounds great!

      Comment


      • #4
        It's very plain, and the lips are very Rolling Stones like. I don't think the lip colour matches the box colour either?

        Is it meant to be 2 colour? Black and Magenta?

        I don't like the plain look and the lips are freaking me out all up in the white space by itself.

        Even you could continue the outline of the face using magenta and black lines, just to give the lips a structure to sit on.

        "May your hats fly as high as your dreams"Michael Scott

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        • #5
          the lips aren't making an 'mmm' sound as they are open, more of an ooohhhah
          http://martyng.com

          Comment


          • #6
            Not keen on Cooper Black. Way too heavy for the otherwise delicate design. Contrast is one thing but that's taking it too far.

            I also don't think it looks high end. That's what you were trying to do right?

            You should do some research into high end food products.
            It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?" – Winnie the Pooh

            Comment


            • #7
              Glossy lips don't make me want to eat nuts and raisins because all the crumbs would stick. There's not much movement or hierarchy in the composition either, the logo, lips, and mmmmm all seem to have the same weight. Yet, the one thing that tells us what it is (nuts & raisins) is the most inconspicuous.

              Also, if this is for the US market then the Nutritional Facts box isn't formatted correctly, (though I'm guessing by the metric system used that it's probably not, so never mind in that case.)

              Comment


              • #8
                Nutritional info is formatted wrong if it's in Canada too, which is metric.
                I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. ~ Kurt Cobain

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                • #9
                  God Bless your upside down eyes.

                  "May your hats fly as high as your dreams"Michael Scott

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by eugenetyson View Post
                    God Bless your upside down eyes.
                    haha.
                    Don't even have to read it to know that. There are certain ways the bars have to be, thick vs thin and stuff for it to be the correct way in Canada.
                    And I real alot of cereal boxes so I can see right away that it's not the way it should be.

                    if you'd like to be bored to death it's all available here for Canada. They even regular the type point size and leading. go them!

                    http://gazette.gc.ca/archives/p2/200...ors11-eng.html

                    I like this though... b/c I can quickly read what I want to know in the grocery store. And it was very easy for us when my brother was little (who is a type 1 diabetic) to figure out conversions for him.
                    I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. ~ Kurt Cobain

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I tried to use lips in a design when I was still in school and my professor ripped me a new one… hope you have better luck than I.

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                      • #12
                        It makes me think of a basic/economy range rather than premium. I'm all for simplicity but it's been taken too far in this case. I think a darker purple would look a lot better and if the mmmmmmm wrapped around the sides and onto the back it would make it a bit more visually interesting. The whole thing needs to be lifted really; as suggested look at existing luxury packaging.

                        Also i think the mmmm should have an h or two in there otherwise it doesn't sound right.

                        If you don't have time to change it now then maybe you'll have a chance at a later date so you can make something better for your portfolio.
                        When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

                        Comment

                         
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