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  • ready....Set......CRIT

    Heres my first submit to the Pit, woo woo. This is a mock up I have created using their original sign Idea and making it graphically appealing. This is to show the customer what "We"(our company) can do for them, and improving there business and advertising needs.


    Thanks

    ps: sorry about the big watermark








    ,ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡ı̴̡ *̡͌l̡*
    Iconic Ideologies

  • #2
    The bevel and emboss just needs to go. It serves no purpose. And why is the price skewed like that?
    ___________
    Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me.

    blog/portfolio

    Comment


    • #3
      I am trying to give it that 3d effect, oh and I should inform you guys that I am not the designer, I am the graphic artist coming up with mocks and ideas and aspiring to be a better designer, but in the short of the long i am just starting in the advertising business side of things and and not sure how everything flows so hence why i will let the crit fly. Its a circle of 3 people. Designer, Artist, Owner. I am the one suppose to be taking over to run the business so I am learning all aspects all at the same time.



      Thanks



      ,ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡ı̴̡ *̡͌l̡*
      Iconic Ideologies

      Comment


      • #4
        Are the primary colours part of the their branding? If not, it seems very amateurish.
        It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?" – Winnie the Pooh

        Comment


        • #5
          Honestly, it looks like it was just tossed together by somebody who downloaded Photoshop illegally, grabbed an image of ribs off Google images and then used some cheap looking bevel and emboss effects.

          Comment


          • #6
            Unnecessary filters
            Too many colors
            skewed fonts
            lack of hierarchy or balance
            composition is pretty much non-existent
            no apparent call to action

            I know that's pretty blunt, but that;s how I see it. Also the picture of the ribs doesn't come across as particularly appetizing as well as they're a little hard to discern.

            And it's "their" not "there" in your post ... I know, a little off topic, but if it can show up in a post it may show up in any business communications and it's always good to correct regardless.

            It's also hard to see the original that's being improved upon.

            And it sounds as if the client didn't come to you, but instead you're going to them to suggest that you can improve upon things? To me from a business model standpoint, if they're not asking for work to b done then it essentially is doing work for nothing. Even if they do like what you did, they may not have the budget to do anything about it.
            __________________________________________________
            I like to beat up pacifists, because they don't fight back ...

            N.A.N.K.A. "We Kick Because We Care."

            Comment


            • #7
              So you didn't design this? You just placed the design in the mockup? What exactly are you looking for a critique on then?
              ___________
              Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me.

              blog/portfolio

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by budafist View Post
                Are the primary colours part of the their branding? If not, it seems very amateurish.
                I am not given the brand or business, I was only given the said sign and was told to make it better. I made it simple and visually appealing to someone driving by, its not a at a light so no usual traffic stops.

                Top brass is its color for the apparant name, the Red for red hot prices, and the bue puts a cooling appeal on the poster.

                Thanks


                ,ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡ı̴̡ *̡͌l̡*
                Iconic Ideologies

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Virgo Nightingale View Post
                  So you didn't design this? You just placed the design in the mockup? What exactly are you looking for a critique on then?


                  I was given the road side sign. I came up with the whole designed add and put it all together Ideas and all. From start to finish. But to final print it goes through another designer to fix flaws and enhance if needed.

                  I am looking for crit on ideas, and design. Which both I am doing. but since I am still learning for business purposes and professionalisum there is another designer to review the final project before print


                  Thanks


                  ,ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡ı̴̡ *̡͌l̡*
                  Iconic Ideologies

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I'd worry about legibility from a traveling vehicle. The original sign has that going for it.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Yossarian View Post
                      I'd worry about legibility from a traveling vehicle. The original sign has that going for it.

                      Yes it does, and it has served well in the past. We are trying make it more exciting and more appealing. So between a rock and a hard place but thats what I get paid the big bucks for.


                      Thanks


                      ,ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡ı̴̡ *̡͌l̡*
                      Iconic Ideologies

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        There's simply not enough contrast to make it legible from a passing car. Red on top of brown just won't work. Neither will the blue, really. Take your file as it is now and make it grayscale. If you can't read it from afar in grayscale, then you won't do any better with the colors.
                        ___________
                        Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me.

                        blog/portfolio

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Virgo Nightingale View Post
                          There's simply not enough contrast to make it legible from a passing car. Red on top of brown just won't work. Neither will the blue, really. Take your file as it is now and make it grayscale. If you can't read it from afar in grayscale, then you won't do any better with the colors.

                          It still works on greyscale but I am going to have to change the blue for better visual performance. I will get it done, but rd trip first. will post adaption soon.


                          Thanks


                          ,ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡ı̴̡ *̡͌l̡*
                          Iconic Ideologies

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I think it looks terrible altogether. I think I would put the boot down if I seen that at the roadside. Like someone else said, it just looks like it was thrown together in ten minutes. I can't really point out specific things because it has nothing going for it. Try starting with a clean page is the only thing I can suggest, apart from repeating the comment about the poor communication, regarding the spelling / punctuation in your posts.
                            When men will beg God to kill them and they won’t be able to die

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by double A-ron View Post
                              Honestly, it looks like it was just tossed together by somebody who downloaded Photoshop illegally, grabbed an image of ribs off Google images and then used some cheap looking bevel and emboss effects.
                              Its suppose to be a Idea not a design......remember, please read other posts explaining the concept of how this is working. My abilities in photoshop are amatuer and even elementry at times. Hence the crit pit.

                              Originally posted by Craig B View Post
                              Unnecessary filters
                              Too many colors
                              skewed fonts
                              lack of hierarchy or balance
                              composition is pretty much non-existent
                              no apparent call to action

                              I know that's pretty blunt, but that;s how I see it. Also the picture of the ribs doesn't come across as particularly appetizing as well as they're a little hard to discern.

                              And it's "their" not "there" in your post ... I know, a little off topic, but if it can show up in a post it may show up in any business communications and it's always good to correct regardless.

                              It's also hard to see the original that's being improved upon.

                              And it sounds as if the client didn't come to you, but instead you're going to them to suggest that you can improve upon things? To me from a business model standpoint, if they're not asking for work to b done then it essentially is doing work for nothing. Even if they do like what you did, they may not have the budget to do anything about it.

                              Thanks for the crit. Sorry about the "there/their" I usually catch myself but no spell check on and I am so used to just slang on things. Its a bad habit I know and thanks for the help.

                              Yes we are going to the client to try and sell the idea. The boss tell me what he wants and I am just coming up best I know with 2 weeks experience. I will post some other things, this was just a starter piece I had ready, and permission for.

                              Price wise this graphic will only be $xx more per month for everything, sign rental etc.

                              Originally posted by Heartburn_02 View Post
                              I think it looks terrible altogether. I think I would put the boot down if I seen that at the roadside. Like someone else said, it just looks like it was thrown together in ten minutes. I can't really point out specific things because it has nothing going for it. Try starting with a clean page is the only thing I can suggest, apart from repeating the comment about the poor communication, regarding the spelling / punctuation in your posts.

                              Boot yeahhhhh. just starting out, things will improve. Thanks for the crit.


                              Thanks


                              ,ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡ı̴̡ *̡͌l̡*
                              Iconic Ideologies
                              Last edited by Virgo Nightingale; 02-24-2010, 10:06 PM.

                              Comment

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