We don't do "brutal" here, it needs to be said constructively or not at all.

Please have a look over the threads posted here when you have a few moments, particularly the bit at the start of the "Welcome and Forum Rules" thread (as it appears that you are using your real name as a user name) and the GDF Code of Conduct, which discusses acceptable behavior.

I notice that you have three posts and all three of them include the link to your site. While you are welcome to post for a critique, please do be aware that we have a strict "no advertising" policy on this forum.

Welcome aboard, and enjoy your stay.

I don't like that fact that I have to scroll sideways to view the rest of the page.

By and large I find the navigation fairly easy -so i like that.


The ALL CAPS on the main page, not so much. (I am on the fence about inclusion of "Online Philosopher, music aficoanado and Problem Solving Specialist".)

Problem solving=good
Online Philospher= aren't we all?
Music aficionado= who cares?

I think these areas of your interests can and should be stated, but perhaps, not in such a manner- not as a title. It comes off high-handed.

Your work is largely good. I
think you dip into the same well a few times on the logos/branding (close-hue background, with complementary, etc), and I'd advise against putting drop shadows and outer glows on your logos.
They simply DON'T need them.
The "Rock Reels" one contains raster image (something that should never go on a logo), and is not at all legible on the black background.

Is the Steelers one supposed to be a remake of the NFL team logo?
If so, I wouldn't include it. Never rebrand something with a logo that isn't an improvement of the original.


Your editorial work looks nice, but you really need to work on your typography-especially in the body text.
You seem too attached to the justified text (I've been there myself), but you are ending up with a TON of hyphens and huge rivers. Plus some of your paragraphs have tight word spacing and others are much looser.
Let your love of justified text go, and learn to embrace flush left/ragged right.

The HOW spread is nice.

That's about it from me for now.

Seamas -

Thanks so much for you input. The Online Philosopher and Music Aficianado parts are there because I also write for a online music magazine, but since that's not what the website i for, i could see where it would come off as heavy handed, and i cant help but agree.

as far as the rest of the work goes, i will definitely take your advice into consideration! thanks again

No problem.
Welcome to the forum.


Like I said, stating those interests and skills are perfectly good, but they can come off the wrong way the way they are stated. (some would-be clients or hiring personnel might see it as "oh no, another pretentious high-horse snotty designer")

I would say that writing ability is far more marketable than the philosophy/aficionado stuff.

Having a designer that can write copy can be something certain clients will look for -but could be at your own peril.

Doesn't fit on 1024x768, The navigation could be better I like the jquery you have but it just feels sloppy. I like how clean the site is so if you could make the nav match that would be great!

You need a favicon, I never take sites seriously that can't be bothered a two minute job to improve their branding. Even the JS in caps would do it.

On the 'About' page, lose the underline on the 'FORM FOLLOWS FUNCTION' text, users will think it's a hyperlink, try click on it, get nowhere and then get annoyed! Besides, bold caps is enough of a highlight, without the underline.

On the 'Resume' page, personally I would change 'to solve a employers needs' to 'to solve an employers needs' but that could be a UK/US English thing?

By the way, why is the complete Resume page one big graphic? Had this been a normal page you could have made your Notable Clients list as links if you so wanted. Also, the text is not as sharp as it could be.

Overall, I like the work in your portfolio but agree with seamas ... lose some of the 'gappy' justified text in the editorial work.

Otherwise, good job!

Hello jsullivandesign (nice nick!) and welcome!
I really love some parts of your work! For example:
This visit card for different perspective is genius!


And I like the "Under Water" poster and especially the op-art poster for Black Moth Super Rainbow!

I got to admit, I don't like the fact that I have to scroll too for each design and I'm totally d'accord with Seamus on the Online-Philospher thing. Every troll posting rants under every single YouTube video there is, thinks of himself as an online philosopher. It sounds cheap nowadays...

Wonderful work

You're work is constantly well designed. It's impressive to me as a recent graduate, as well as refreshing to see that there are some good talent floating around the schools.

With that said, I feel your portfolio needs work in presentation, as well as usability.

RESUME
My biggest issue is your resume (btw, you also have two widows on your about page. I know it's not like print where you can adjust the kerning, but I'm sure you can find a word to eliminate so it fits on one line). First, "click here" is old school web. For one, a tiny underlined word is not giving the button the attention it deserves, and two there's a way to work that link into a simple "download .pdf resume". This way, when I'm just browsing your website (not reading it word for word) I can tell at glance where I can download your resume.

My second issue with this resume is that it takes me to MediaFire to download. Yuck. And, MediaFire is loading right where your page was, so I'd better be careful not to click the close button thinking your portfolio will still be waiting back there. Another simple solution would be to point the link directly to the pdf. most people won't mind having to press the save button in the built-in Adobe reader. In fact, they're probably used to it by now.

HOMEPAGE
You have amazing works! Why are some not featured on your homepage as a teaser? I'm glad you're welcoming me to your website, but I don't need the greeting taking up all that space. In fact, I don't need that greeting at all, because welcome or not, I'm going to be looking through your work.

NAVIGATION
Those colin's are not working for you. They aren't aligning flush right, so why bother with them.

Second, I'm okay with grouping your projects by category, but I was expecting to see a new page of LOGOS + BRANDS when I clicked on it. The slow loading collapsed menu was a tease.

Another note, I was clicking to expand the menus to see what my offerings were. When I had them all opened I was interested in looking at the HOW Magazine spread. So I clicked on it, and suddenly all my other menus closed up. Now I'm annoyed that to go back to check out the steelers work, I have to click on the logos + brands just to expand the menu.

I think maybe you were expecting your view to click each page, one after the next, in a linear fashion. And when they get to the next section, they were done with the one before. The truth is, some people just click at random to see if a few things catch their eyes. if so, then they will decide if they want to review every piece.

I think it might be okay to hide my other options if expanding the menu seemed to be more than a barrier I had to cross.

I did mentioned that they opened kind of slow, right?

Lastly, unless you are the creator of indexhibit - or they are paying your bills somehow, I don't need to know that you created your site with them (or if you can't get rid of it).

CONTACT
Lastly, not everybody is comfortable contacting people through web forms. Some really want to see an email address. That way, they not only have your information for their rolodex, they have a receipt of the message they sent to you, as well as their signature for you to get into contact with them.

PRESENTATION
Really, the only that bugged me was the different perspective page had a distracting blue gradient behind the bulk of the work.

Also, I'm not really noticing much of an advantage to adding a slight gray gradient to the second logo of the clocksmiths. is there something else I should be seeing?

So that's really all I have to say for now. I know it's a lot, but I definitely see a lot of potential here.

One more thing I forgot to mention. Make sure that you save some pieces exclusively for your book. That way when you show up for a full time job interview, it's not just a physical copy of what they've already seen.

on "about you" it should be "your" not "you're" overall i think the work is very nice and clean. you should lose the drop shadows and gradients like others suggested. that would be my main crit. nice job!

nice graphic designs. but your portfolio's layout is not dynamic