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A little hash-up of a business card, please go at it .....

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  • A little hash-up of a business card, please go at it .....

    My second effort: I have used an image of my own, typically Mallorcan fashion.
    I want to portray a simple, clean image.

    My strengths are technical illustration, layoutwork and photo and 3D.
    I have a few happy clients now, and wish to leave a trail...

    The card. I am stuffed for fonts at the moment, so where do I go with this then?
    Please be brutal,but pleasant.

    Thanks awfully.

  • #2
    I love the image!

    But I don't think the top fonts are working. Too stretchy, not enough space to breathe.

    Try using the bottom font for the whole sha-bang. Keep the type uniform where you can, maybe just make your name a bit bigger, everything else the same size? Nice to give the email a different color punch, and the bullets, too.

    Overall, nice job!!
    You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on. --GWB


    • #3
      Thanks EC. The top font is not pleasing, its true. when you say the same font, do you mean caps as well, or just the same spacing and less s t r e t c h i n e s s, because it is in fact, all the same font. I just did the stretching myself...I shall de-stretch it right away!


      • #4
        Ben - what about a constructivist type font that shouts out for the top font ? These ussually seems to go with the white/blacl/red colour scheme.

        WRT to the tel for the license plate why not put tel on the handle of the boot - would seem to fit better.

        All in all, looks good!

        <EMBED src=undefined width=undefined height=undefined type=application/x-shockwave-flash bgcolor="undefined" loop="undefined" quality="undefined">


        • #5
          yup, just less stretchy. I like how you did the numbers on the car myself. You put them in an unexpected place so ... I likee.

          Something else you might try is not centering the text. Just for kicks and giggles of course.
          You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on. --GWB


          • #6
            Yep EC touched on somethings I would have said, streching the text and centering the text. One thing I would do is use a thicker weighted text on your name, make it really stand out, then have a light version of your email address. And another thing, it's not very professional to have a hotmail address, invest 100 bucks and get yourself a website with your own url and email addresses, that Is in my opinion of course. You might also put graphic designer, photographer, and 3d on top of each other down the right side, but if not try and 'space or kern' it out not strech so that it aligns with the left and right side.

            Good start though, I also like the picture of the old car. The phone numer was very clever, you might want to make 'Phone' as like a crome piece of the car, like a car emblem.

            Site // Blog


            • #7
              I'm liking the image a loy. Though the phone number idea is great, I'm not to sure about the legibilty. Just seems hard to work out for a few of the less clever. I didn't notice it too, not after some one mentioned it. I can imagine a person with the card in their hand looking from corner to corner for it. Try work on the legibility of that.

              about the type, it's not working at all. How about having the type all vertical and right justifying it? Might get interesting... or leave it horizontal but right justify it all. Try it, see what happens and posts your discoveries.

              You might want to consider introducing some of that green of the VW into the title too. That is a VW right? (1960's Mod special?)

              With a Hotmail email address, I'd try and hide it a little, not having out up front as Bobby's said, it just seems to put a less professional image in minds of people. Try Gmail as an alternative, the name doesn't sound as bashed as Hotmail does. Know what I'm saying?

              Keep going at it, it's almost there. Good luck!


              • #8

                Crikey, I go to bed and when I get up, POP. There you all are. This is excellent, great ideas. I have to work now, but I'll churn out a few variations this evening, and get 'em posted.

                ciao for niao.


                • #9

                  Blimey. after some serious tweaking (read starting from scratch), I left the original idea, and then came back to it.

                  Too much red in the first attempt, disorganised, horrible, unfinished. So I killed the car, replaced it with parasols. I think its too empty now. Then I put the car back in, accidentally scaled up, and it looks better. The old text over the photo routine. Safe.

                  Tweaks later, I'm left with something I like, butmaybe it's a little confused now...

                  Thanks guys,any more?

                  PS sorry about the multiple images, got to cheat the one pic per post rule...


                  • #10
                    Dude, these concepts are really beautiful. I am having a hard time choosing one. Just when I think I've got my favorite, another one catches my eye.

                    One thing I'd like to see is a less modern font, something a little more classic. Maybe, maybe ... a serif?

                    Maybe keep the web address in this font at the larger size as it is now, then compliment it with something more subtle ... smaller and tighter for lack of proper terms. The body text still seems a bit overwhelming, I'd love to see it compete less with the image. Again, just suggestions. Many of these stand on their own as excellent as they are.

                    Great job!
                    You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on. --GWB


                    • #11
                      I like the first car design, but I kept seeing black and white dalmations in the window. Seems I was the only one!?
                      As for the other latter variations ... I just cannot choose one over the others.I'm thinking more on the right-most tow, but adding a black gradient at the bottom instead of the red block (it doesn't work for me).


                      • #12

                        Hey thanks guys, I know this is going to do my (and your) head in. I've got this museum poster thing going on with the card right now.

                        EC: I thought I was going to get slated for using old fonts . I don't know if its a relevant comment, but the 'scene' in mallorca is abit young, and everything is 'up to the minute', or olde worlde traditional. I plumped fora modern minimalist font, as it suits my crowd a little better. I hope. Young architects and the like.

                        Itamused mewhen I read Bobbysky and WR comments about hotmail addresses, because I have been subconciously cringing every time I have giventhe 'hotmail' addressto someone, so I found a suitable web/email domain. Now I can get on with the website. Bet you can't wait

                        Ulysses: I thought the original image was a bit busy, but only after I put the second lot together! If you refer to the reddish rusty one on the right,I agree that the reds compete a little. I'll go fiddle.

                        I am kind of stuck on the small one third from left and the similar neighbouring fourth, myself....


                        • #13
                          Okay, the third one to the right on the top strikes my fancy and the one next to it (to the right), but there are a few more things until it there. One, what's your REAL NAME, i'm assuming it's BEN, but BEN WHAT. What I would do is replace the email address with your full name, then put your email address & phone number in smaller type directly below it. I don't know, compositionally, if this works, but you need your name in there. I like the way the card is going though. Your emai just doens't have to be as pronounced because your website is so bold, it's kinda redundent. Good work keep it up
                          Site // Blog


                          • #14

                            Ha good point, doubled up the web address!

                            I was hell bent on getting the web address on there, and I forgot my name. BUt the web is the important bit, so that can remain prominent, but I shall put a surname in there, somewhere. I wish my surname was SKY,- so clean and short.

                            'MITCHELL' is a swine to get to look right.

                            Back tomorrow......


                            • #15
                              I do think that's relevant! Good choice then. I do think you can stand to reduce the size a bit, though. I think that would make it look even MORE modern.

                              (And watch your edges, I noticed a couple of these were flush with the edge, leave room to consider that when you have them cut, they will shift around a bit ... don't want any important info. to get chopped.)
                              You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on. --GWB






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