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  • By Jove! I think I got it!'s the latest version of my re-design of a logo (on a business card) - (see other post "Logo: Please Give Me Comments" for logo progression). I tried to keep in mind all the good input I got from you all.

    I think this is good, because again, this is a company that helps support and grow new projects and organizations and it uses elements of their existing logo...the leaf and the phrase "na kuahiwi elima."

    Please, please let me know what you think....
    Last edited by Ms.O; 06-13-2005, 10:46 PM.
    While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats. --Mark Twain

  • #2
    I really like this, but one word of warning: keep in mind to censor contact information when exhibiting your work. We have actually had some weirdos prank call the numbers listed. I recommend you censor it right away.
    Creativity is taking what is and bringing in what isn't.


    • #3
      Thanks...I changed it. Dick Watkins is a made up guy....but I changed the phone numbers.
      While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats. --Mark Twain


      • #4
        Is that like the whole front of the card, or back and front? I really can't tell tonight.

        If it's the front only, I'm not diggin' that break in the middle at all. How about having it an angle, express the 'moutain' thing a little? The type there is kisssing the edge a little too. Not too keen on that either.

        I think you might to centre that line too, looks a little odd with a little extra white space between the end of the logo and the colour block.



        • #5
          Yes, it's a one-side card. This is a non-profit company with very little funds.

          You mean something like this?
          While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats. --Mark Twain


          • #6
            Well not quite, I was thinking something just slightly angled.

            Never mind me, someone with a better eye for design will come along shortly.


            • #7
              i don't think the line has to be at an angle. I would like to see the solid section take up a little less of the card, however. I don't like the feeling that it's "cut in half". The white section with the logo should occupy most of the card, but don't feel like you have to fill up that entire section with the logo. I would also change the "hawaii" part of the logo to be in the same typeface as the logo itself. It feels like to much of an afterthought. The Hawaiian word shouldn't have so much leading. It's a hard word to try and pronounce anyways, and having it so spread out doesn't make it any easier. Is it only one word or more than one? If more than one, I can't tell. OK, this is the last thing I promise... but I feel like the connection of the leaf and the "t" is a bit forced. I'm not keen on how it curves on the top... on previous versions of this, I saw the leaf as seperate and I liked that more... to seperate the mark and the type. OK, I promise I don't totally hate it (like it may sound like!)

              I just look at it and see all these little things that could overall make it a more attractive card.


              • #8
      's another version.....

                * I want to keep the word Hawaii in a different font because people refer to this organization as Five Mountians...period, although Five Mountains Hawaii is the legal name. And I like the spread out leading because it balances the design better than if it's left justified, imho.

                *Also, theoretically, they have talked about starting other "Five Mountains" ventures....Five Mountains Maui, Five Mountains Colorado, etc., etc. This is a community program that they would like to serve as a model for other community programs.

                * I tried to make the leaf look more naturally coming out of the "t" in mountains....don't know if I succeeded or not.

                * I've spaced the card differently, diminshing the solid box looks more balanced now, I think.

                * I've moved the Hawaiian phrase away from the edge of the solid box and darked it.

                Okay....any more comments?
                While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats. --Mark Twain


                • #9
                  I think that it does look great. The one thing I would like to see is making the top of the F in the logo line up with the D from Dick on the right side of the card. So basically move the logo up a bit. This will create more of a balance, but then your taking up space in all four corners leaving the middle for a ton of white space, but the hawaiian term running vertically takes up that space, so I think it will look sharp. This is all in my opinion though. Oh and also maybe make the hierarchy a little bit more pronounced, like making operation manager a lighter weight, and the address and phone numbers too. This will make my eyes bounce a little bit less through the elements.
                  Last edited by Bobbysky; 06-14-2005, 04:51 AM.
                  Site // Blog


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by JaCkinbOx
                    I really like this, but one word of warning: keep in mind to censor contact information when exhibiting your work. We have actually had some weirdos prank call the numbers listed. I recommend you censor it right away.

                    JaCkinbOx, I wouldn't believe everything you hear...
                    Only dead fish follow the current...


                    • #11
                      I really like that last one there...very nice! The logo is very cool. I do agree with Bobbysky though. I'd push the logo up a tad...maybe make the top of the leaf line up with the top of the green box and then shift the name down a bit so the tops of the letters align...other than that I really like it.

                      Good job!!
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                      • #12
                        I agree, the last one's really nice... I would also look at lining up some elements though:

                        As Bobby said, the D and the F.
                        Also The top of the leaf and the top of the box. (maybe make the box slightly smaller, hightwise)
                        Alter the address and phone numbers to balance the above changes.

                        This way, you can make the Hawaiian word a little thinner too, with better kerning/leading.

                        Just an idea though.


                        • #13
                          If you line the F & D up you will run into problems because the leaf is higher than the F so you'll have to resize the leaf or it will come dangerously close to the edge. I agreee with bobby & beano, make some type thinner like the contact and the word hawaii.


                          • #14
                            it's looking better. I agree with all the other comments... just keep it going!

                            Also, is this a full bleed card, or did you bring in the space on the right, so that it wouldn't bleed? I think it needs to be a full bleed to have the right effect with the solid flood on the right. Just wasn't sure of your margins there..


                            • #15
                              I love it. The grid lines should be kept, but those are minor tweaks. I love the final version you posted. Also, I like the angled version. It gives the card some sense of movement. I suppose the last version is the best though.


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