Edit: I’ve got some big changes planned now, so I don’t need any more eyes on this design. Thanks for your help ya’ll!
I’m boostrapping some self-employed shenanigans and I’ve had this landing page for a little while to try and get people to subscribe to my mailing list or twitter.
Any thoughts on how I can improve the conversion rates through my design? I’ve been mostly focussing on fine-tuning the content for the most part, but figured ya’ll might have some thoughts on layout/structure or even eye-catching-ness.
When a viewer lands on a website, they are thinking just one thing. “What’s in it for me?”
The site has mere seconds to answer that question, before they bail. You have to tell them - fast - what they can get, and it needs to be something they want. Else they’re gone.
Your landing page is about you. Objectively speaking, why would they want to subscribe to you?
I suggest you start over, research your market, define what you’re giving them, and how to tell them that.
That makes sense. I’ve seen the effects firsthand of giving a very-quickly-consumable message and call-to-action to users.
I made this when I started down this self-employed road and I don’t think I had a particularly clear vision yet, thus the survey at the bottom. I think I can provide a much more focussed message now.
Perhaps I should consider this current version to be a part of the “research your market” step .
Thank you! That was helpful, and got me to reassess some decisions I think I wouldn’t have otherwise.
Hello ! I’m a grown-up queer kid tryna make snazzy stuff and do some good. They/them please.
You’ll benefit from working on the text a bit more. I’m not fan of the tone. It’s a bit rambly, a bit loopy. Also not sure what you are trying to say. I realise that you are trying to be conversational but I don’t think it’s working in this instance.
In terms of design, you need clear hierarchy and because the 3 options are very different, I think an icon or image for each would help.
I think I’m trying to hit a few too many goals at once:
Make transphobic or homophobic folks shy away before they become part of my communities.
Be visibly queer and non-binary.
Establish trust in my abilities.
Present my long-term vision.
Present my shorter-term vision (the products)
Sell them on subscribing
A few too many things for a landing page I’d say .
I think my successive pruning to get my wording to be succinct has also mucked with the consistency of that conversational tone (which I do want to get right).
I think the solution is to get a succinct and quick message across immediately like DocPixel suggested, and then go into the more about me stuff someplace else or later.
That’ll take the pressure off me to make the about me stuff quite so tight, which I see at odds with the tone I’m going for.
Thanks for the note, I’ll make sure to work the text more (or likely, undo much of the work I’ve done since my earlier versions).
@johncs This post is very confusing. You edited the original to say you don’t need any more eyes on it, but your last post asks for a second look.
Since I think the second look is most recent, I’ll give you some feedback on what I see.
At first glance, my eye doesn’t know where to start. Your bio rushes directly into the Shmeppy content. I think you need to find out what your purpose for this page will be. Do you want it to be about your pronouns and interests, or do you want it to be about Shmeppy? Both content can exist on the page, but I’d like to see you put visual priority on one over the other. You can do that with font sizes and white space. In fact, I think the first line introducing Shmeppy should appear several pixels after your headshot. That way, there is a visual distinction between content that is about you, and content that is about your project.
I love the natural language. It’s not overly formal, nor is it cheesy dad-jokes. good job. Well… this is until you tell me to say things to you. You could probably just drop it at “Join me on Shmeppy’s nascent Discord server.”
I’m not super excited at the idea of paying for beta software. I would suggest maybe offering an early-access preview and then introduce pricing in the following weeks. Software tends to be buggy upon initial release and I’m not keen on paying to be a QA tester.
Other than that, I think it works for you. The graphic looks cool, I’m interested to see in how this evolves and I wish you the best of luck!
Sorry for the confusion. You interpreted things correctly. I had an original version that I decided to make major changes to. What you saw this time around are the result of those changes. Thanks for trekking through the mud a bit.
Your bio rushes directly into the Shmeppy content. I think you need to find out what your purpose for this page will be. Do you want it to be about your pronouns and interests, or do you want it to be about Shmeppy?
Thanks, I was worried about this as well. I want both things on the page and was having trouble distinguishing them. I’ll smash at it some more.
I love the natural language. It’s not overly formal, nor is it cheesy dad-jokes. good job. Well… this is until you tell me to say things to you. You could probably just drop it at “Join me on Shmeppy’s nascent Discord server.”
Ahaha thank you. I’m definitely mostly cheesy dad-jokes in real life, so the feedback on where to scale back is very appreciated. I’ll remove the say things to me part.
I’m not super excited at the idea of paying for beta software. I would suggest maybe offering an early-access preview and then introduce pricing in the following weeks. Software tends to be buggy upon initial release and I’m not keen on paying to be a QA tester.
I did some initial market research around this and I’m reasonably sure there’s a small market who’ll be interested. Of course, I’ll find out, but I’m at least confident there’s a chance of this working. This is a common pattern in indie game development and it’s pretty successful in that space.
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! I’m a grown-up queer kid tryna make snazzy stuff and do some good. They/them please.
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