Exactly as Just-B said, it is all very tame. Nice idea, but you are not playing it to it’s best. In fact, on first glance I didn’t realise what you had done. It was only on a second look I saw it. That can’t happen in real life. A reader could potentially just skip the page unless something draws them in. Think about how magazines are consumed. You often flick through the lot quickly until something grabs you. Your idea is exactly the sort of thing to do just that, but it is so hidden, you’d never see it on a flick through.
Also, you have filled every available space, so the end result looks more like a newspaper article than something vibrant, aimed at inspiring, young, exciting, eager people with the content.
Look at examples of The Face from back in the 80s and 90s. OK the layouts are of their time, but they were exactly aimed at the age group you are looking at. Neville Brody’s type and layouts were breaking new ground at the time.
There’s also David Carson’s more extreme and experimental, Ray Gun, but it will show you how far you can push things. The age group you are aiming at are exactly the audience who will be happiest to consume more ‘out there’, expressive layout.
https://images.app.goo.gl/oWvHnBDYkHrgV3iZ7
Learn about white space and make it work for you. You will only get this through practice. Be prepared to keep playing and playing with it, until it feels that you are never ‘get the plot’. One day, after enough practice, something will just click and you will just ‘get’ balance and dynamics and creating tension and resolution. It’s not a million miles from music; knowing the difference between disharmony and controlled dissonance. The difference between uncomfortable and jarring and holding the dominant 7th for just long enough before resolving it – or not.
Try drawing layouts before even touching typography, or imagery. Just block out the spaces for them in the area you have, until you get that harmony on the page. Then start to pad it out with content. A painter starts by blocking in with washes, then refining and tightening. Try doing the same.