The only thing I’m going to say…
Put this away for a few days, then go back to it.
View it at a size small enough to fit all at one time on a screen (or print it out and put it on the wall.)
Where do your eyes go first?
If that is not where you intended, then do over.
I’m betting it’s not the beginning of the sentence.
Your message is unclear and your mix of typefaces is not at all helping. Then picture this on a wrinkled t-shirt, at a size that fits in the standard t-shirt sign blank… Nope. Not working.
Do you know about licensing from dreamstime for extended use? (that’s what t-shirts fall under.)
If not, something else to study up on.
The thing about t-shirts and slogans/messages is that have to be sharp, punchy and short.
You don’t want a big message on it that takes too long to read/understand. Unless yo want people gawking at you while you stand still in a grocery store and people read your t-shirt.
It happened to me before with a t-shirt I bought on holidays, and it was slightly creepy people stopping me to read my t-shirt.
Layout is optimal
Fonts not paired well - try mixing different weights of fonts
Images are too complex and may cause reproduction issues or hike up the cost
Conjunctions and sub- and ordinating conjunction words are too big
You can get a free 1 months trial here
There are other courses on there too
Understanding the process helps you understand how to design better.