First up, on a positive note. You came here for advice and help. Good on you for doing that. This means that there is part of you knows that your poster isn’t working as it is. Sometimes when you ask for help you are going to get some harsh truths and not necessarily like what you hear.
You are not going to like this, I’m afraid. It is not meant to be cruel for the sake of it, but you need to understand that if you are going to do this, you need to have a much better understanding of what design is about – especially if you are taking money off people for it.
As it stands, this poster is exactly why professional designers are constantly belly-aching to their partners over breakfast about home-made design.
The irony is, much as the original is pretty hideous, it is slightly more effective than the one you have put together. Not necessarily from a story-telling and aesthetic standpoint, but there is, at least, a marginal sense of hierarchy, even if unwitting – well, if selling the DJ was the goal. Even then, at least it’s not a barrage of information all shouting at you with no focus.
Finally, I think billing a DJ as live music is pushing a point. A DJ is someone curating and playing recorded music. Live music, is musicians playing actual instruments in the same place as you. I know; there are DJs everywhere who’ll opine that they’re musicians too.
Im not sure how you’d say it, but their original description of Live DJ, if a bit ambiguous (no one’s going to hire a dead one) is more accurate than ‘live music’.
As I say, none of this is meant to be hurtful for the sake of it. please take it as tough love and an opportunity to improve. The best advice I can give you, is go and get yourself educated.
With that flyer, start again – simplify and ease up on the cultural clichés. Get the client to change the name.
Good luck.
