How else can I improve this

So this is a Poster Design

The goal is to make it capture peoples attention so they read it and are broken to turn a new leaf

It’s going to be mainly in print format. A4 paper print.

Target Audience are university students in Nigeria

Am a student trying hard to learn more everyday

It’s a self directed project

Sorry, but that’s not a poster, it’s an essay.

Moreover, it is going to be thoroughly offensive to an awful lot of people, thus achieving the exact opposite of what you want it to. It is simply inflammatory. It is also hugely offensive to any other religion and anyone who doesn’t believe in what you want them to believe in.

That kind of vengeful deity is not one I recognise from back when I did believed in some sort of Christian ideology before the motes dropped.

This kind of fire and brimstone approach is definitely not going to appeal to non-believers. It just feeds straight in to exactly why they shouldn’t believe and proves them right.

Personally, I’ll be happy to not make it to any sort of heaven run on such judgemental doctrine and mortal guesswork about what any deity, real or imagined, may think.

That kind of emotive hellfire rhetoric just makes me more sure of a more equitable way I choose to live, that has nothing to do with controlling doctrine and everything to do with other people, fairness and some sense of empathy. What this ‘poster’ preaches is the exact opposite and frankly, it’s dangerous and more than a little bit ugly, in a figurative sense.

The opposite of non-believing us not evil and debauchery.

I think if you want to persuade people that you are right, you need to rethink the entire approach. As a not believer, this just makes me think that you are a little bit deranged and fanatical. I am not saying you are. I can’t. I don’t know you. That poster, however, certainly gives that impression.

I can’t even begin to offer any sort of practical critique about typography, hierarchy, etc, as the entire poster misses the mark of what you want it to achieve. It is more an outpouring of your emotional (and arguably, misguided) doctrine, than it is a piece intended to inform and persuade.

Start again, but iId suggest thinking more like a Christian than a zealot.

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Whoa whoa whoa, seriously I didn’t ask you to read what I wrote and start criticizing me I only said anyone’s who’s ready to help should help me look into what I need to add or subtract and am not talking about the message. Forget about the message it’s not going to change, I am not surprised its really infuriated you, it’s actually doing it work :blush:

Sorry, but that’s just risible! I thought that’s exactly what you were asking for – or at least you should be.

The message is the critical bit. It’s what design is all about. It’s not about making things look pretty. It’s the way you speak up to your audience. You need to appeal to them in a tone of voice they will respond to. A message that damns them is not something they will respond to.

My comments were objective (mostly). How you appeal to your audience is key. Criticising them isn’t going to do it – especially students, who, by definition, are more likely to be liberal-minded, intelligent critical thinkers

If you are happy with the message and the way you are communicating it, then you don’t need my help.

Good luck.

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Thank you very much Sprout, perhaps I also went a litte bit far, but I get what you are saying, I had to also go back to the message and do some few tweaking there.

Christ don’t condemns sinners but he loves them and wants them to come to repentance.

Although I feel the only part too harsh about my messages is the “forget about your godforsaken body” Part. Now about the title the reason why I made it that way is to Capture their attention so they check out the message. That’s all it’s not meant to condemn, or do you think that doesn’t work?

And the Idea behind the message is not to pamper anyone but to charge them painfully, just like a father chastising his son for wrong doing, yes it’s painful but at the end it will yield a good result.

Point is majority of the people in my university let’s say 80% are Christians but I feel they don’t take their Christian journey and relationship with God serious, through observation of their behavior hence this charge and call for turning back.

I am really sorry man If I didn’t get you or reacted wrongly. I am sorry, but I get your point now that it’s not about the aesthetic but the communication first (the most important aspect of design) and you are saying how I appeal to them through my message really matters.

So here’s the new one.

Now with what have said, let’s work on this together like brothers

I suspect significant cultural differences exist between Nigeria and where I live in the United States. A message that resonates with Nigerians might differ from what hits the target with typical Americans.

With that disclaimer in mind, my American viewpoint might not be relevant in Lagos, Abuja, or your community.

As @Sprout mentioned, it’s a mistake to think of the message as separate from the design. The poster is about the message, and the poster’s design should reinforce the message. Evaluating the design must consider its relationship to the message. However, you already know this because your poster’s design does precisely that.

In the United States, your message wouldn’t be well-received. Public lectures about religious beliefs aren’t common. Religious beliefs are often discussed with family, friends, and within religious congregations, but it’s considered a bit off-putting to preach in a public place to strangers. As I mentioned, this might be different in your part of Nigeria and your community.

The design and the message are dark, condemning, and judgmental. Instead of being uplifting and inspirational with a positive message about goodness and worth, the poster dwells on negativity and damnation.

The poster’s design is also a bit intimidating, with a large, partially obscured face and a single eye staring directly at the viewer. It might even come across as threatening. The “You will never make heaven” headline reinforces the threatening negativity. Instead of drawing people in, it seems more likely to push them away.

You mentioned the work being a poster, but posters must quickly grab people’s attention and convey a message. People don’t typically stand in front of a poster on a wall to read an essay. Having to read all the text on a poster to understand what it’s about almost guarantees that it won’t be as effective as it might otherwise be. Your poster might work better as a magazine or newspaper advertisement where people sit down to read and are not simply walking by on their way to somewhere else.

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Too much text.

I don’t get it. It’s too text heavy.

There’s no call to action

There’s no message to entice the reader to read it

There’s some truth to that that I cannot deny. Most of my friends will likely be heading to the other place, and I’ll go where my friends go.

Or not. Most of my friends and I do not belong to that club, so the rules don’t apply.

Thanks alot @Just-B I really appreciate man.

And that’s why I love this website. I am very glad for your constructive feedback.

I guess I will just have to take it down then.

Like I said earlier my intention is not to scare anyone or make anyone feel intimidated but to charge my viewers just like a father would scold his child once in a while, but then due to some of the things you said I think I will take it down

Firstly about the issue of "It’s threatening and intimidating and I feel instead of draw them to Christ like you said it might actually make them withdraw

And secondly about the fact that for a poster the messages there are just too much, it would surely do well for a magazine or News paper.

Thanks alot @Just-B and thank you too @sprout

Although I don’t understand what you meant @Eriskay

I’ve always suspected Yahoo is a tool of the devil.

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@Mojo Now that’s funny man :rofl::rofl:

This is a novella not a poster. The text is way too small as well. I was too overwhelmed to read it all. What I did read is so negative that any inspiration aspect is completely lost. I feel no desire to continue reading. That does not make it an effective poster.

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I am a Christ Follower and one thing I know for certain—Jesus’ message is one of love, grace, and forgiveness—not fear! “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)

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Agreed Kittie. Makes me glad I’m an Athiest.

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