My latest design for my improvement

I need criticism about this latest design that I made but still not chosen by the client, for my development what is lacking

Don’t understand the brief?
A less interesting presentation?

Or other

This is the form of a brief given by a client on a crowdsourcing web that I followed to find experience

A description of the company and its target market
Coffee Tower is a modern coffee shop with a taste of contemporary coffee that is loved by the people of this country
The target segment is 17 years to 45 years old.

Why is it called Coffee Tower? Because we have the identity of a building that has 3 floors of buildings with a unique shape resembling a tower.

Industry
Restaurant

The name stated on the logo
Coffee Tower

The desired logo style
typography
Typography Style
Illustration Style
flat

Desired color
WOOD AND GREEN LEAVES
Additional information for designers
This is the specific Coffee Shop.
If there can be a logo that shows the Tower with the dominance of green and brown.

One big problem (among others) with crowdsourcing is there’s very little back-and-forth interaction with clients. Designers end up trying to read the minds of people they’ve never met and deliver solutions to problems they have insufficient information about.

An important role of designers is that of strategists and consultants who advise and provide direction to clients about things they likely haven’t considered themselves. This crucial part of the process is absent in crowdsourcing contests.

What I’m getting at is there’s no way for you or anyone else to know why the coffee shop owner didn’t choose your design. It might have been for a good reason or some totally off-the-wall thing that makes no sense at all.

All we can do here is critique what we — other designers — think about what you came up with, which is of limited value when trying to satisfy the whims of crowdsourcing clients who likely know little about design themselves.

So with that preface out of the way, your design, in my opinion, has several problems.

First, the typography is weak. It’s an ordinary, unmemorable text typeface with little personality. This is fine when dealing with long blocks of text in a book where ease of reading is the prime concern. But for a logo, something with a little more character, presence and personality is usually in order.

Second, the relationship between positive and negative spaces is anemic. The logo just sits on the background and disappears into it rather than interacting with it. A logo needs to unambiguously take charge of the space around it. That space needs to look as though it belongs to the logo — not the other way around. In other words, you can’t just position a logo as an afterthought on a generic paper cup or place a strongly horizontal logo in the middle of a squarish sign where it doesn’t fit. You need to consider and design how the logo interacts with the space around it.

Third, the line work in the tower and steam is a bit timid and tends to lose visual coherence from a distance as it turns into something resembling a random scribble. This is especially problematic for a storefront sign that needs to be seen and understood from a distance.

Fourth, the steam (if that’s what it is) really does look a bit more like an awkward scribble than a fluid stream of steam rising from a cup of hot coffee. One could almost interpret the building as a drawing you didn’t like, so you scribbled over it. Are you sure the tower you’ve drawn resembles the tower-like building in which the coffee shop resides? If not, that alone could be the reason your logo was rejected.

Desired color: wood and green leaves…

You pretty much have a starbucks green in there, but no wood and no leaf green, or green leaves, whichever the client may have meant (that would have been a question to ask.)

As B asked, is this their building? They describe something a little more unique than a standard triple-decker. Something more resembling a tower.

If you look at your coffee cup muckup you can see how ineffective the logo is at a distance.

The window and blade sign mockups are very popular. As in, I see them far too many times. Don’t do that with a logo that is not even in process. And don’t do it using fake crap if the logo actually is in process. You would be wanting to show the client actual usage on their architecture using stuff you know they can have installed.

The concept has potential. Coffee has a strong emotional appeal of comfort and wrapping the tower in the heat lines of coffee helps to evoke that emotional appeal, especially because the movement of the heat lines has a whimsical aspect to them.

However, while the concept has potential, I don’t think the execution really works.

  1. It’s just way too busy. It took me a while to work out what was going on.
  2. The heat lines themselves need work. They have pointy edges, which remind me more of barbed wire rather than the comforting aspect of coffee, which is off putting. It also doesn’t help that the loopy bitys feel like nooses strangling the building.
  3. The tower needs a lot of work. It’s way too busy with too many windows. It has too many sharp lines which again doesn’t fit with the swooshy warming feeling of coffee. Putting it at angle makes it look dynamic, but it also adds to the busy nature and again angles aren’t ‘soft’ like coffee is.
  4. The type also needs work. You have a big gap between “coffee” and “tower” which confuses my eye. The text also doesn’t snuggly fit with the graphic. There’s a lot of spacing between the graphic and the text. As a result my eye is pulled in all different directions.

You have some good ideas, so I would work on the execution. When you use shapes, think about the feeling they create. You don’t really want sharp angles and pointy bits for something that is liquidly like coffee. Also think about the use of space and where your eye is pulled.
Also, think about purpose. If a logo is going on a sign, it can’t be too detailed. It needs to be bold and simple.

I’m gonna assume, since it’s a coffee shop in a tower-shaped building that the logo is indeed going on a sign blank. When designing a logo, it’s a very good idea to design it on a consciously thought out sign blank, regardless if it’s representing a brick-and-mortar or not. You never know what someone will eventually do with their business logo so best to cover most of the bases at the outset. (I’m talking mostly about business logos here, not so much stuff going on one-shots like flyers or album covers…but still, have a plan, that band may want to take their show on the road and fly that album logo in 3D over the stage or something…)

No one has mentioned that some of the swirls are also supposed to represent a coffee cup, though there is confusion over the meaning of changing only some of the cup lines to green… The cup probably needs to be a little bit more substantial or perhaps that concept needs to go away altogether in order not to compete with the architecture of the building.

I should say too, I like the linework on the building itself.

Do you have concept sketches? A lot of them?

I didn’t even notice that, which might be an indication that few other people will either.

There is a bit of a disconnect between the stylistic finish of the building compared to the swirl…

It took me a second to notice that too.

My advice was simply to define the cup better, and make the wisps above more vertical to define them as rising. The coffee swirls, the steam rises (with swirl accents).

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