I would like some feedback for my assignment for a project

Is there a teacher that is suggesting students sign up for this forum to get feedback on their work? I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with students getting feedback, but there seems to be a lot of student work showing up, and this is the second Pizza Plus logo we’ve seen.

It’s happened before. Sometimes teachers require that students get feedback from a forum.

The high school teacher needs to be schooled.

Avoid “Type on a Path” until you understand more about typography and kerning/tracking.

Avoid strokes on objects unless artistically placed. It’s a cop-out to get your design to “work”. If you need to apply strokes for your design to work, then it’s not appropriate design.

It looks like a poster design, so I will treat it as so.
The illustration is a good beginning, but consider layout. It’s the only focal point, but it’s placement does not make sense. I could see it enlarged and coming out of the side of the poster possibly if there was a little more detail. Try using the pen tool to illustrate a real photo of a pizza instead.

Again, brush up on typography with this article. It will help you immensely. Here is a creative example of what kind of dynamics to look for when you proceed with this project. Do not replicate, that is not legal. But take into consideration layout, typography, color, and balance.

You have a disproportionate amount of white space. You could spread out your design elements a bit more so that the balance is a bit better.

Also, I don’t know if you have the freedom to do this, but I would club the timings wherever I possible. For example, 11AM–9PM: Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday.

Were not professionals were HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS take that in consideration ! Were not intimidated by the graphic designers on this page we can take criticism we accept your comments.

Vrosas7, we understand that the students are not professionals. But the high school teacher should be more professional than to send students here to get the kind of basic feedback they should get at school. They are training you to work in a profession that won’t exist by the time you are experienced enough to work in it if this is how people are to be trained for it.

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Feisty.

Our critiques are not aimed at intimidating you, vrosas7. I personally think your teacher is offering you an interesting and potentially valuable experience with this exercise, and I wish interaction with professionals was so accessible when I was in high school.

Here’s a thing though; (and this is one of the things you should learn from this) we designers want and need context—around everything. In our job, if someone calls up and says “This is Sal from Pizza Plus; I need a logo design,” it starts a process that involves a lot more than designing a graphic for Sal to hang on his building and print on his pizza boxes. I’d visit Sal at his shop and analyze every single thing I see, considering the neighborhood, the surrounding businesses, the direct competition, the income levels of the clientele Sal has and/or wants to reach, etc. I’d interview Sal and get to know him, where he’s from, why he’s in this business, how he sees and treats his customers. I’d observe his operation and sample his product. If I am to create an representative identity for Sal and his business, I can’t possibly do a good job without getting to know them first. This would kick off a brainstorming session and possibly up to a week of sketching and mulling ideas—all before touching a computer.

So considering all that, it’s easy to tell it’s not what you’re learning, and maybe you don’t need to at this point in your life. But I want you to have that context about us, to give you a better understanding of our reactions to the work you’re posting. And, our feedback could be so much better if we actually had some context around your situation. So if you’d help with that:

  1. What year of high school are you all in?
  2. In what class was this assignment given?
  3. Did the teacher actually send you to this forum for feedback, or did the teams find it themselves?
  4. What software are you using to make the graphics?
  5. Are you to be graded on the graphical result of this exercise alone, or are you also preparing supporting materials documenting your process and justifying your choices?
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What a great post, HotButton.

Personally, I think these questions, or some variation, should be required for every student critique request.

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Alright everyone. Let’s try to keep things on topic

If you have feedback for the OP’s design, please go ahead and give it, otherwise please refrain from going off topic. Please keep in mind that the OP is a high school student.

And as a reminder:

Thanks for your support!
PanToshi

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As a disclaimer, I am a student in graphic design, but here are my thoughts:

I like the simplicity of the design, here is how I would improve it:

  • The flyer is unbalanced, you have a lot of items and graphics on the left side, but only a little on the right. You could try creating an asymmetrical balance by right-aligning all of the type on the bottom right hand side of the poster and leaving the pizza with the “Pizza Plus” on the left hand side.
  • I would make the Pizza graphic larger to improve balance as well as emphasize the hierarchy. Right now the pizza is competing with the “Pizza Plus” in terms of hierarchy.
  • Your alignment is off. Every item in the poster is aligned to something different. Stick to one alignment. If text is right-aligned, then do that with all text. Also, the margin for the text on the right side looks slightly larger than the margin for the text on the left side.

A third of the design is opening hours. Is this an opening hours sign?

The hierarchy is odd here. If this is a poster trying to attract new customers, what is it about this pizza shop that makes it better than other pizza shops?

“We have pizza, we are open sometimes, this is our address.”

Isn’t enough to cut through the competition.

I don’t know if the brief you have supplied all the text to go on this or if you made the text up, but I suggest thinking hard about what makes people want pizza (aside from opening hours and location) and focusing on those things.

Other factors are: toppings, price, size of pizza, specials, delivery details.

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